Manual My Critters, Me and BPD

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Then the tapping rituals started. I had to tap the inside of my door a certain even number of times before I could leave the bedroom. Slowly, this tapping to even numbers compulsion took over everything. If I inadvertently touched something, I had to touch it again. I believed, as many people with OCD do, that somehow these rituals would protect me — not just from the ants, but from all bad things. I figured I spent roughly two hours a day doing nothing but OCD behaviors.

Being in school was a nightmare — I had to silently tap the underside of my desk to perform my rituals. My parents never knew. My mom was very happy that I had learned to wash my hands before dinner though. I gradually, very gradually, stopped doing all the rituals. This episode came and went before I saw my first psychologist at the age of By the way, thank you Howie Mandel. The effects linger to this day. I still have an even numbers compulsion. I still catch myself tapping twice on a wall I brushed against.

But the condition does not radically slow down my life as it did when I was 11 and My childhood was stressful, but it was fairly constant stress. The whole episode still confuses me to this day.

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Every counselor I have had has no explanation for what happened to me — why my OCD started, why it went away, what it meant and if it had anything to do with my current conditions. As it happens with mental illness, sometimes we are left with mysteries that are unsolvable. But as I wrote this story, I was almost overcome by anxiety. I wonder what it means? We want to hear your story.

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Become a Mighty contributor here. Since then, I have been working around my full-time job to get ready for production — from sourcing fabrics to designing the seven plushies. The Real Monsters are made of super-soft minky and high quality faux-fur from Shannon Fabrics. So far, I have been making and designing around a hour work week. Working as a plushie-designer fulltime allows me to pass on more discounts to customers, through ordering fabric in bulk, ending my commute costs and — most importantly — allowing me to focus my full energy on delivering a high-quality product.

My goal is to produce the full range of Real Monsters as both plush toys and knit patterns. The only way to make the whole series happen is to get the product off the ground now: a successfully backed project will give me the time and capital to develop the rest of the series. Each reward level also includes a share to the original designer of the Monsters.

Boundaries, Family Estrangement and Disownment

Want to order more than one Monster? Then, select either pledge level which you want. Finally - send me a message and let me know which two you would like! I am keeping a record of everyone who as asked for more than one, so make sure you let me know. But which should I make next? All backers will receive access to a poll to vote for their faves, so if your own monster isn't yet featured - this is your chance to have yours made next! Want to vote AND want a plush? Don't panic! All reward levels will also get an opportunity to vote, so no matter how little or much you back, your voice will be heard.

Can't order a full-size plush? Here's a knitting pattern so you can make your own! This pattern comes as a PDF download you can print at home. The pattern is designed on round needles, and requires knowledge of the following stitches: knit, purl, increasing and decreasing, and short rows.

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Make one for yourself — or ask your gran. Choose from any of his current Monster designs. All proceeds from this reward level will go directly to Toby - a fantastic opportunity to get a beautiful piece of signed art for your home! One limited first edition plushie based on the Depression Monster.

With big arms and deep fur, Depression is addictively cuddlesome — just like hiding under a duvet instead of leaving the house. Extra cute. Don't tell the others, but this is my favourite - it's weirdly huggable. The BPD Monster contains wire to make the antlers stand tall, and to give the tail a poseable swish — beautiful and haunting. The feet contain poly-pellets, so they dangle as if the Monster was blown in the wind.

Get your own limited-edition PTSD plushie! PTSD is big and huggable, but still sturdy enough to stand upright on a shelf, and comes with a fabric ball-and-chain on its hind-leg. Plus airbrushing to add a touch of angry red to the horns and tail. When I was a strange child, I had a cheap, ugly pink toy bat someone won me at a fairground.

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I loved that thing because it had wire in the wings, and you could pose it so it could fly, hug your neck, or strangle things. No surprise then that my AVPD? Has wire in the wings! Built on top of a galvanised wire armature, AVPD has skeletal wings and legs to capture the wary, hunched-up tension of the original design. To keep costs down, I am not planning to order a bolt of orange fur initially. I hope to make more available in future - but there is a possibility that these will be the only ones released for sale.

Get your very own collectable Bipolar plushie! Get your very own collectable Anxiety plushie.

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Cute, yet sinister, it's easy to imagine this creature hiding under the stairs. Anxiety is a sturdy, wire-free plush - huggable, but also looks great stood up on the shelf.

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Get your very own collectable Social Anxiety plushie! Great for hiding away from the world with, the Social Anxiety plushie is a soft fluffball with big arms and a protective shell of deep fur! At this pledge level, choose from any of Toby's remaining monsters and I will design one to order. Your monster will be fully detailed no shortcuts to make the pattern easier for mass production , and you will have a chance to feed back on the final prototype so it is perfect just for you.

This pledge level includes shipping, and all future mentions of this product will include your name or the name of your business. Any non-crude name accepted — including your surname, the name of a loved one, your company name or anything else you choose.